No real progress on the problem project, but finally saw what was wrong on the BRB search project. Good progress after that!
At what point are we allowed to say, ‘I don’t like what’s happening here. This isn’t what I agreed to. I want out?’ I don’t want to be mean or uncooperative, but I’m ever so tired of being pushed around.
Changing the subject, I still have my first flash drive. It just caught my attention. 256MB, it makes me smile. That was pretty good in it’s time.Now that I think of it, my first hard drive was MUCH smaller than that. Oh, how things change.
Tuesday brought some relief. Caught up a little on various fronts. No real progress on my biggest problem project, but that’s because I’m waiting for someone else.
Something that should be simple is driving me crazy on another project.
I’m completely out of patience with being jerked around. Need to focus on something peaceful and restorative.
These days, I often find myself walking this line between authenticity, which I feel is necessary to evolve (I’ve grown far to good and comfortable with the masks I wear.) and being acceptable to those around me.
If you’re going to screw with me for sport, I still wont make a fuss about it, but I wont tell you it’s okay, either. The crazy thing is that something in me still feels intensely guilty for not pretending that everything is okay.
Until I figure things out, I think my best course is to focus my energy on whatever is most fulfilling at that time. Maybe that’s the new measure. Maybe that’s always been the true measure and I’ve just chosen to aim for things that were easier to quantify.
I’m ready for a new set of rules, universe.
Interesting conversations after service today. Someone said something thoughtless and I reacted a little more strongly than I would have liked. Actually, it might be good for me to speak up more often. In any case, I think the person really thought that she was making a joke. Easter dinner was nice. Got some chores done in between.
Although not the Saturday I was hoping for, it was a pretty good day. Planted some things, trimmed others. Got a funny photo of some of the plants fighting back (my arm looks like a wild animal attacked me). Also had a good conversation with Mike. The path forward is a little more clear, now.
This was a good day. I accomplished several cool things. Made progress on projects, etc.
Met a friend for happy hour, then came home and started putting a plan for BRB into action.
The second of the all staff meetings, then a meeting about a project I was already working on, which then turned into an omnibus, which is cool. All the pieces are good, they should just be done one at a time.
Nevertheless, I accomplished some things. I also moved back into the hallway.
Then, there was dancing! There was also an egg hunt at the dance studio. I found a good egg. One month of all you can take group classes!