From time to time, I stumble back to the truth that everything is about reactions, perspective, and where we send our energy. This usually happens when I find myself too tied up with silly things, things that someone has decided are important, things that someone has turned into a problem.
As something of a an empath, and a people-pleaser from way back, I’m predisposed to accepting and jumping right into the toxicity when someone whips it up. I know that this is a losing strategy, but the nature of the thing is that it blinds you to its existence. It is only in a moment of clarity that I can notice, ‘Oh. I’m here again.’
While pondering this state of affairs and how to better protect myself from getting pulled in next time, how fitting that 12 should turn up in the first position. Obviously, perception is key to all of this. With 2 and 3 also in the spread, I’m more sure than ever that this is all a lesson. One I’ve botched so far, so must play again.
Part of the message seems to be that my habitual neglect of self care and spirituality is also playing a large role. I always think that I should be accomplishing more. There is a good chance that this is exactly where I’m going wrong. What does it mean to accomplish something? The accomplishments that I currently use as my guideposts are fleeting as there is seldom any time to stop and enjoy. There is always a new emergency.
While there will never be anything wrong with wanting to do good work, I think that I need to try and divorce myself from always trying to do more of it. It would be better to recognize the work as something outside of who I am, an activity done in its time and place for an agreed upon reward. Taking personally what happens with that is toxic and quite counter productive. If I were just responding to the situation itself, it would be slightly annoying and done in a few minutes. Instead, I have this gnawing feeling in my gut like I’m being disrespected and circumvented. What’s that even about? Why do I care? Aside from these little incidents, which I have the power to see as nothing really, I like what I’m doing and the people I’m surrounded with.
In short, do what the Hanged Man says, find a new perspective. Remember that it is not a problem unless you see it as one. While this is much easier said than done, there is little doubt that being more mindful is a step in the right direction.